Friday, July 12, 2013

Scared Sleepy by Angel Sharum Excerpt

Scared Sleepy by Angel Sharum

The stories in Scared Sleepy are not the fairy tales and nursery rhymes your mama told you when you were little. The characters may seem familiar, but the antics they get up to will make your blood run cold. Revenge, murder, adultery, fights and fun abound in these tales. Old friends become new menaces, beloved characters show an underbelly you’ve never seen before and hardly anybody lives happily ever after.


Loosey Goosey

Mother Goose was a little loose
Her virtue was in dispute
Not that anyone would say that to her face
Or a nose they might lose

No, people kept quiet
when Mother was around,
but as soon as she left the room,
the gossipers went to town

They talked about her conquest
The men she loved and left behind
They talked about her openly
when she couldn’t return in kind

Not that it would have bothered her
Mother Goose did not care a bit
what others thought of her
She wasn’t going to quit

Loving and leaving men
She was having too much fun,
and so far, none of the men had complained,
not a single one

Mother figured as long as no one was hurt
whose business was it where she lay
It wasn’t like she was killing people
She just liked to play

Mother had a twisted sense of morality
She didn’t care about the wives at all
She thought if they were doing what they should
The husbands wouldn’t come to call

The wives thought differently
They blamed Mother for leading their husbands astray
And, finally, a group of them got together
and came up with a plan to make her pay

They broke into Mother’s house
and to her dresser drawer they stole
They found her collection of protection
and in every one, they poked holes

In the appropriate amount of time,
Mother Goose started to show
No man would go near her,
None wanted to know

Who the father was
Who had stopped the play
Who had ruined the fun
Who had spoiled the day

For her part, Mother had no clue
She had slept with so many men
that when asked,
she just said, “Who knew?”

Mother, even though she was a wanton woman,
still did not approve of abortion
so she was stuck with the children
cooking in her oven

By the time the goslings came,
Mother was waddling to and fro
People laughed and stared
Wherever she would go

Mother hated the whispers most
She wished people would talk out loud
If they had something to say about her
Go ahead, be proud

Don’t whisper behind her back
Cowards, the lot of them were
It wasn’t like anything they said
would upset her

Mother, though she would never have thought it,
was proud of her goslings
each and every one
she loved their fuzzy little bellies and their squeaks,
Babies were fun

And the father didn’t get off Scott-free
No, it ended up not being hard to determine
Who the father was, you see

Tom Turkey was the lucky dad
He couldn’t deny it if he tried
For no matter how blind you were
A baby goose with a wattle was hard to hide

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...