Friday, November 1, 2013

Why Romeo Hates Juliet (a laugh-out-loud romantic comedy) by Anna Mara Excerpt

Why Romeo Hates Juliet (a laugh-out-loud romantic comedy) by Anna Mara

Romance writer, Juliet Soma HATES her new neighbor, movie star Romeo Boyd!

From the first moment they meet, when Romeo mistakes the sexy novelist for the hot stripper his friends have hired for him for the night, the duo clash and an epic war begins! And when Juliet gets the partying bad boy arrested by mistake, things only spiral down from there.

One day, as the battle between them escalates, Juliet accidentally shoots him! When Romeo comes to, to Juliet’s horror, he has amnesia and believes that she is his wife. But does he really? No! He’s just faking it to get his revenge on her and make her his slave.

But how far is Romeo prepared to go, especially when he finds himself falling, head-over-heels, in love with the annoying, infuriating but achingly gorgeous, big bitch next door?

And how far will Juliet take things when she discovers how the electrifyingly, handsome bum has been playing her all along? Will she finally admit that she's completely in love with him too? Or will she exact her own brand of secret revenge on the cad first?

WHY ROMEO HATES JULIET is a funny, romantic comedy, emotional rollercoaster ride filled with twists & turns and highs & lows, spanning an entire summer at the beach.

NOTE: This is NOT a modern-day version of "Romeo & Juliet".


Chapter 1

“You’ll always be my little peach pit, no matter what.”
Eight year old Juliet Soma turned her chocolate brown eyes upwards to meet her
father’s gaze and her brows crinkled in confusion. “But why are you moving away?
Aren’t you coming to the lake with us?” she whined, as her small heart began tattooing a
frantic beat inside her chest. She turned to her six year old sister, Sara, who was sitting
beside her on the living room couch, with her little hands clasped in her lap and her eyes
focused downwards at an imaginary spot on the carpet at her feet. Sara never said much
when Juliet was around. She always let her big sister do the talking.
Juliet turned back to her father who suddenly crouched down low in front of her to
meet her at eye level. “Juliet, I’ve already told you that I can’t come with you. Not this
“But why? You said you were going to teach me to swim.”
Tears began to mist in her eyes. This was the first time her father had broken a
promise to her. Had she done something bad? Was he mad at her? Maybe this had
something to do with the yelling she’d heard coming from her parent’s bedroom last
night? Juliet had been awakened by shouting coming through the walls and then she’d
heard her daddy slamming the front door shut as he’d left the house. Was that why he
was moving away now? Because he’d had a fight with mommy?
She turned to where her mom sat in the armchair with the orange flowers by the
fireplace, softly crying into a tissue. Like her little sister, her head was bent too and she
wasn’t looking at any of them. Was her daddy moving away because he didn’t like
mommy anymore? Was that it?
She turned her wet eyes back to her father. “Please, Daddy! Don’t go. If you’re mad
at Mommy, she didn’t mean it. She’s sorry.”
At that, her mom’s eyes flew upwards in anger and threw her father a withering
stare. “I’m not taking the blame for your bullshit, Ken. You’d better tell them the truth,
now!” she shouted through tight lips.
Juliet flinched in surprise. She’d never heard her mom swear before. In fact, bad
words were never allowed in their house. Her frantic eyes riveted back to her father’s
frowning face. “Please, Daddy, please - come to the lake with us, please,” she sobbed, as
her salty tears began to flow faster down her pink cheeks.
Her father suddenly stood up, allowing his presence to tower over her. “Juliet, stop
it!” he commanded. “I’ve already told you that I can’t do that. I’m moving away to
Toronto and that’s that.”
“But why? Me and Sara - we’ll be good from now on, I promise. We’ll do our
homework and we won’t watch TV anymore and we’ll help mommy with the dishes
“I said stop it! Just stop it!”
Her father’s cold tone startled her into silence and caused her little sister to start
crying. She heard her father let out a deep sigh before he continued in a softer tone.
“Girls, you’re both old enough to understand this, so I’ll just say it. Your mother and
I are getting a divorce. She won’t be my wife anymore but I’ll always be your daddy.
And even though I’m going to be living very far away now, know that I’ll always love
you. We’ll talk on the phone every night and you can come and visit me anytime. You’ll
even get to fly in a big airplane. Now that’ll be fun, won’t it?”
Juliet hadn’t heard any of her father’s speech. All she knew was that her daddy was
leaving and moving far away. Who would protect her now? Her dad was the strong one
in their family and he wasn’t afraid of anything. What about that time when Bobby
Taylor from across the street had taken her bike? Hadn’t her dad gotten it back for her?
What if it happened again? Who would look after her now? Sara was too little and her
mom needed protecting too. If Daddy was leaving, no one would be there for her now -
no one! Well, she’d just have to look after herself from now on, that’s all; and she’d look
after Sara and Mommy too. She was strong, just like daddy, and she’d take care of them
Suddenly, Juliet’s little mind short-circuited with the weight of her new
responsibilities and all thinking stopped, giving way to pure emotion as deep sobs choked
out of he

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