Sunday, April 27, 2014

A Normal Relationship Does Not Exist by Jessica L. Murray Excerpt

A Normal Relationship Does Not Exist by Jessica L. Murray
Paperback $13.36 or Nook for $3.99

Dealing with love as a young minority is tough and we just have to wrap our minds around the fact that normal sometimes does not exist for us. "I just want a normal relationship". I hear this way too often from females around my age group. So I ask; what is a normal relationship? For me, the word normal coincides with the word standard and I don't think there are any standards to any relationship. All relationships have their problems, big or small.


Too often, we rely on hope. I hope one day he chooses me. I hope one day he gets his act together. However, what happens when your hope runs out? What happens when you wake up five years later in the same situation hoping things will get better? This has happened to me repeatedly until I realized I was compromising my self-worth thinking that if I hoped and prayed enough he would choose me. The fact of the matter is you have to choose you. You have to decide how much you are willing to take for/from one person. Love is beautiful but it can cloud the mind and impair judgment. Desire can wreck your life and your only one irrational decision away. Know your worth. Know that you deserve more than to be lied to, cheated on and constantly betrayed. You matter. Your existence matters. Stop living for someone else and start living for yourself. Life is short and people leave this earth every day. Stop wishing and hoping and start living. Too often, we look to others to validate who we are and what we want but this is where the mistake begins. Stop it. I know we all want love but at what cost? Why are we settling when we know we deserve the best? I’ve seen people settle for someone they know they shouldn’t be with and fall head over heels. Once you fall you keep falling until one day you realize you’re in love with the wrong person and you don’t know if you should stay or go. Usually in these circumstances two things can happen

One: You recognized you wasted your time with someone you didn’t want to be with and now mad at yourself because by this time you could have found someone you truly want to be with.

Two: You realized you two are not at all compatible! But now, feelings are involved and you hope this person can change and are willing to deal with the drama because this person has “potential”.

Let’s start using our brain but never give up on love. We compromise so much in hopes of a “normal” relationship. If you really think about it normal does not exist. You create the rules. You create your own relationship but use your common sense. This is of the utmost importance.

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