Tuesday, August 5, 2014

10 Top Reasons Why Your Sweetheart Needs a Spanking by Patricia Green

There are some days when the love of your life makes you roll your eyes. Yes, you know those days. When she stamps her foot with impatience, or when he talks too much. Those are the days when your sweetheart needs a spanking. Domestic Discipline comes to the rescue, bringing bare, red fannies to the fore.

Here are some fine reasons, just in case you have trouble identifying them when they happen.

10. Gluttony. Have you ever gone for the bag of chips and found one, lonely fraggy left in the bag? You know there was half a bag when you left it, and you know your sweetheart had the bag last. What happened to sharing everything—sorrows, joys, and, of course, chips? Spankin' time.

9. Boasting. There is a fine line between talking a mile a minute about some accomplishment, taking pride in a job well done, and talking non-stop about how terrific you are. Yada, yada, I'm so fantastic! Yada, yada. Looks like we're getting out that ping-pong paddle for a quick trip across Sweetie's backside.

8. Cheating. Now, of course, if your honey has a roving eye, something a else is in order, but if he or she cheats at Monopoly, that's a spanking offense, pure and simple. Go directly to leather strap, do not pass Go, do not collect 200 dollars.

7. Envy. "But, honey, Mavis has high-button shoes, why can't I?" Nix that nasty habit right in the bud. Try using the leather sole of a soft house slipper. That'll make the point!

6. Foul language. Does your sweetie talk like a sailor with a bad attitude? Does every other word start with F? I have encountered a few heroines like that – well, actually, I wrote 'em that way. For example, Kiki MacKenzie in Kiki's Millionaire, had a potty mouth. Washing her mouth out with soap is never enough. Try another handy bathroom implement: a wooden bath brush along the rear (not the loofah side!).

5. Lying. This one really makes a person steamed. When you can't trust your sweetie to tell you the truth, who can you trust? Pretty soon, not only will they be lying about who broke that china plate, but they'll be telling you there's no Santa Claus! Sheesh. Lying deserves a "conversation" with a leather belt (be sure to wrap those metal parts deep in your fist, folks). Poor Gabriella Appleby got a spanking (or two!) for telling tall tales in Ace-High Flush. Make sure your sweetheart reads this and takes notes.

4. Lack of confidence. Do you love your honey? Does your honey believe him/herself love-worthy? If he doesn't, that's a spanking offense. After all, if he respects your judgment, then he'll believe that you wouldn't pick a dope for a sweetheart. When Jenny dyes her hair, believing that she's not sexy enough for Buck, even though Buck has made it clear he likes her the way she is, it starts a spanking spree. You can find out about it in, A Mouse in His Pocket, my Christmas short story, available for free on my website.

3. Endangering oneself. If you're married to a cop or a firefighter, this one isn't for you. Those people know what they're doing and they know the risks they take daily, for which we are all grateful. However, if your sweetie is like the rest of us, endangering her life heedlessly isn't okay. In Spanking Her Highness (book 3 of the Journey series), Queenie Journey has a run in with her sweetie, Will, when she foolishly risks her life during a fire. Spank, spank, spank.

2. Disrespect. Loving someone implies that you respect them. R-E-S-P-E-C-T (in my best Aretha Franklin voice). If your sweetie starts to treat you like a wadded up road map, unfold your leather strap and spank that insidious little trait away before it gets out of hand. Liv Aune, from Liv's Journey (book 1 of the Journey series) will give you some hints and tips about why disrespect is such a worm in the apple of your eye.

1. Fun! This is probably the most spankalicious reason to apply palm to fanny. Yes, spanking can be fun. Lectures can be replaced with sweet talk and sexy sayings, and hot rumps can lead to some hot…other stuff. All of my erotic, romantic, spanking books have spanking for fun, 'cause once you experience it, you'll never want to go back.

If you care enough to spank the very best... Hallmark never thought that one up.

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