Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Bigfoots Don't Do Mini Coopers by Meredith Allen Conner
Kate Storm always thought Bigfoot was a mythological creature. Until she ran her over. Now she’s stuck with the creature sleeping on her pull-out while she figures out how to heal her. Which wouldn’t be so bad if Big Al, her hit-man channeling Chihuahua, wasn’t showing so much concern for the giant furry being. Kate wants nothing more than to get Bigfoot back to where she came from, but she has other things to worry about. Her undead best friend Morgan is hiding a secret. Kate is trying to work through relationship issues with Ash, her demon boyfriend. A xenologist is on Bigfoot’s trail. And another of her clients winds up dead. It’s enough to make the most determined matchmaking witch a little crazy. Kate will have to rely on more than her magic to get her through this time.
Aunt Tabs set a mug in front of me and a small bowl in front of Al. She sat down with her own mug. “Feeling better?”
I nodded. Al took a few laps of his tea, leaned forward with his ears at attention, “Do ya think you’re comin’ down with somethin’?”
I choked on the sip I’d just taken. Death and murder are a common occurrence to a hit-man.
“We don’t handle killing people, or creatures of any kind, all that well, Al.” Aunt Tabs answered for me.
“Why not?” He tilted his head to the side. “Besides it isn’t dead.”
“No. It’s alive, but it could have died. And I would have been responsible.” My voice came out a little hoarse.
“So?” Al tilted his head the other way.
I considered how best to explain. “I don’t like killing things.” That was a little too vague. “People, animals, Bigfoots.” I tried to be as encompassing as I could. “Plants.”
“Ya killed that vampire assassin.” Al beamed proudly.
“Yes, but only because he wanted to kill me. And Morgan.” I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have stopped there either. Ivan had wanted everything to do with me erased from existence. Which would have included my aunt and Al.
“I didn’t want to kill him.” That wasn’t strictly the truth, but considering my choices, my conscience and morals didn’t have a problem with his death. Or my part in it.
“If you didn’t want to kill him, I coulda done it for ya.”