Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Dead Vampires Don't Date by Meredith Allen Conner
Kate Storm is your typical everyday mortal witch. She owns her own matchmaking business, hangs out with her vampire best friend, Morgan and enjoys the company of Big Al, her hit man channeling Chihuahua. Plus there’s a certain demon that she has her eye on. Life is pretty good until her first important non-human client winds up dead and his body is dumped at her back door. Turns out, disposing of the body is the last thing she needs to worry about. Kate will have to find the true killer if she wants to save her business and her life. And her new found witchy detective skills may not be enough to save her, especially if the demon is involved.
Approximately four hours later, I discovered that I no longer had to worry about my problem. Someone had taken care of it for me. Regrettably, they had dumped the body at my back door.
I caught myself as I went to check for a pulse. Ha. Good one. Check a vamp for a pulse.
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
I bit my lip to stop the hysteria.
No way anyone - Prince of Vampires or not - had survived this. The tree branch used for a stake was long enough to sway with the night breeze as it protruded from his chest.
Blood pooled beneath his body and lingered on the lightly fluttering leaves of the branch.
Funny, I hadn't realized vamps bled. I did know they didn't poof into a charred pile of ash once staked. Hollywood - always needing a good special effect. However, it looked like vamps did tend to go gooey. Rather fast.
I couldn't go to the police - the prince was a vamp - and I certainly couldn't tell the vampires – they'd kill me first. I doubt they'd even ask questions afterwards.
I had to get rid of the body.