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Have you ever admired those successful, confident, motivated, and charismatic people who seem to have it all? They've climbed the corporate ladder quickly or started a great business. Their love life is amazing and they have fantastic friends. They’ve made all the right connections. They’ve mastered networking and how to build relationships. They’re very persuasive and created significant influence with people. And…all of this has opened up limitless opportunities for them.
What’s their secret? What breakthroughs have they learned that you haven’t?
They have figured out the biggest predicator for success is…Social Wealth
Everything we create in life is with or through other people. No one goes it alone.
We value our experiences and relationships with other people above everything else.
Your legacy comes down to becoming rich in all your relationships.
Stuck in your career? Wishing you could find passionate love in your life? Want to be a top producer in your field? Having trouble building business relationships and networking? Want to improve your leadership, social, communication, and emotional skills? Desire to create more meaningful connections with people in your life? Do you want to have more influence and persuasion? Do you want to be more vulnerable, authentic, confident and courageous?
If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions…
Social Wealth will give you the blueprint and action steps you’ve been looking for to achieve the success you desire and deserve.
The reality is no one is born with this information and skills. No one sits you down to explain how it works, and you certainly don't learn this in your education. These are learned skills and behaviors.
By the time you finish this book, you are going to have a bullet-proof, passion-fueled strategy built on the skills and confidence of learning what others don’t know. You will have the power to define what you want, spot potential obstacles to your success, and the tools and skills to get exactly what you want.
In this how to guide, you’ll learn to:
• Create the powerful, life-changing “Social Wealth Mindset™”…
• Leverage scientifically proven, field-tested human behavior insights…
• Master essential social, communication, influencer and emotional skills…
• Embrace vulnerability, authenticity, generosity and imperfection to courageously engage with others and create meaningful connections
• Develop a “real world” social media plan to put it all together for your personal and professional life.
You will also get free guide, 15 Social Wealth Tools, to help you get results quicker.
Then it just comes down to a little action, practice, commitment and patience.
Don't waste your time, hard work and money any longer. Learn the path to creating the life you want on your terms.
Introduction:
“There
is no such thing as a ‘self-made’ man. We are made up of
thousands of others. Everyone who has ever done a kind deed for us,
or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the
make-up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our
success.”
–
George Burton Adams
Do
you ever…
- Feel awkward or fearful about approaching people to start conversations?
- Not know what to say when you’re chatting with someone and think they will judge you if you say something wrong?
- Not know how to break into group conversations?
- Feel uncomfortable or have social anxiety when you are out among acquaintances or people you don’t know?
- Struggle to build deep and meaningful relationships with others that leave you happy and truly fulfilled?
- Feel like you have little or no understanding of how to successfully build your business network?
- Not know how to advance your career or start your own business because you can’t meet the right people to help you (i.e., investors, board members, venture capitalists, mentors, or executives)?
- Feel frustrated in your sales or business development efforts because you can’t seem to find the right customers or partners?
- Struggle to influence others and build consensus within your company or business?
- Feel like you struggle to create a successful romantic relationship or interactions with the opposite sex?
- Feel overwhelmed and way too busy to find the time for meeting people and building relationships in any area of your life?
Don’t
worry. We’ve all been there. Building highly successful and
effective relationships and collaborations with others is extremely
hard to do. And it’s not an innate skill we are born with;
relationship building requires learned behaviors, skills, and habits.
That’s why you have to build a focused plan for your life for all
your relationships and develop the specific behaviors, mindsets, and
habits to get whatever you want in your life.
Along
with that…nothing in your life is compartmentalized; everything you
do affects everything else. What you do in your personal life affects
what happens in your career or business, and vice versa.
We
are the sum of our relationships and the people we spend the most
time with. We do almost everything in life with or through other
people. Relationship mastery is essential to an extraordinary life.
We’ve seen in our own lives and through the stories of other
people, the pain, heartache, and destruction that can happen when we
don’t master this area.
A
critical life strategy and the new currency for creating an
extraordinary life is GIVING (along with helping and inspiring
others). When you let go of the mentality of “What’s in it for
me?” or “What can I get before others get something from me?”
you discover opportunities to feel fulfilled, happy, loved, and
passionate, and you have the opportunity to create the life you
really want to live. It’s whom you meet and what you create with
them along your journey that will shape your life and the results you
get. Bottom line: the sum of your relationships and the ability to
master your own psychology, which includes your thought patterns,
mindsets, emotions, and habits, will equal the quality of your life
experiences. So if you want to create your extraordinary life, you
have to get them both right.
With
the rise of the Internet, technology, smartphones, and social media,
an interesting—and alarming—shift has taken place in the last two
decades. As a society, rather than becoming more capable of human
connection, we have become more and more isolated from one another.
Yet it’s relationships that are absolutely critical and essential
to driving both professional and personal success.
By
substituting social media and technology for real human connections,
working remotely by ourselves, participating less in group activities
and organizations, and living in a “rootless” world where people
move from city to city often with very few connections, we’re
eroding and losing touch with valuable communication, social, and
human interaction skills. We are using social media and technology as
a way to be noticed by others, and often seek validation through
“likes,” “retweets,” etc. We are living in the online world
more than the real world. A recent Harris Poll study found that
Americans would rather give up sex than their smartphones.
Let’s
face it, how many of us have our smartphones within arm’s length
24/7 or close to it? How many times do you see people texting
continuously at a restaurant, bar, or event, when they are with
friends, family, a date, or next to someone they could meet? People
are not even present in their lives with people who are right in
front of them!
With
all of this going on, meeting new people and growing relationships on
any level is getting much harder, not easier. People aren’t
learning social, communication, or relationship skills in the
education system. Instead they have to trust the school of hard
knocks, their street smarts, a mentor/coach, or a book. Today, almost
everyone is struggling and overwhelmed by how to put what they learn
into action—how to find and develop new friends, business
colleagues, and romantic relationships, and create a meaningful life.
Many people are just giving up and feel hopeless and lost, and they
disengage from the world around them or self-medicate with drugs,
alcohol, prescriptions, etc. In this way, they create a cycle of
failure in their relationships and enter new toxic relationships…over
and over again.
All
of this is creating a culture where people are substituting authentic
relationships with virtual ones, and it is quickly eroding our
ability to communicate in the real world. While online dating sites
such as Match.com and apps like Tinder can be helpful, many people
use these tools to avoid making an effort to meet and communicate
with people in the flesh.
Firing off emails has its function in business, but picking up the
phone, having a face-to-face lunch, saying hi to people down the
hall, or scheduling an in-person coffee meeting is much more
fulfilling and ultimately more rewarding. Plus, people don’t build
deep, meaningful relationships on email or the Internet in the same
way that they do in person.
To
create lasting connections, we have to consciously buck the trend and
take a much more deliberate, intentional, and focused approach to
meeting people and relationship building. Doing this means being
vulnerable, authentic, and transparent, and we must prioritize people
and giving without having to get something in return. Being connected
with other people increases happiness and love, creates unlimited
opportunities, and motivates us to create the life we really want. To
become the best we can be, we need to enlist others to help us. And
we need to help others get what they want in order for us to get what
we want. We also need to introduce new people into our personal,
social, and business lives on a regular basis. Every person can
impact your life in a different way no matter who they are, where
they are from, or what they do. By not doing this, we miss out on the
chance to learn and absorb ideas and inspiration from unexpected
sources.
Right
now, something is less than perfect in your personal, social, and
business life. You are looking to quickly and artfully build, manage,
and grow new and existing relationships in your life. That’s why
you’re reading this book.
Maybe
your dating life isn’t what you want it to be. When you go out,
maybe you stare across the room, hoping to meet someone, but at the
end of the night, you inevitably go home alone, feeling disappointed
and depressed. Or you have an existing relationship or marriage that
has hit a low or rocky point, and you want to take it to
extraordinary levels.
Maybe
your networking skills aren’t where you’d like them to be and you
are stuck. You know what you want from your network—top-level
career choices, opportunities to build your own business, and
financial freedom—but you have no idea how to build, cultivate,
manage, and tap into it.
Maybe
you are struggling in business because you can’t get proper
mentorship in your company, you can’t take your sales career to the
next level, you are unable to influence the board of directors or
executive leadership, or build consensus to move ideas forward.
Maybe
your friendships are in need of a jumpstart. Rather than putting
energy into friendships that don’t make you feel good, you want to
start spending time with amazing people who are successful, active,
positive, and fun, who challenge you and push you forward. Or perhaps
tap into the social opportunities where you access amazing people and
artists, enjoy exclusive access to events or parties, tap into
leading thinkers or creative minds, enjoy amazing hidden beauty in
the world, and much more.
Maybe
you’re just tired of spending so much time alone, isolated,
disconnected, frustrated, rudderless, unhappy, unfulfilled, and
sleepwalking through your life.
If
any of the above sounds like you, you’re in the right place. I’m
going to help you master meeting people in a new way that will bring
more people than you ever thought possible into your life. I will
help you build deeper, more meaningful, and amazing relationships
that unleash true joy, love, and happiness. The social life you’re
going to develop is going to build your social capital in a way that
will open the doors to limitless possibilities in every area of your
life. You can do this on your terms, not anyone else’s. This means
you won’t need to try to convince people to like you; they will
like you for who you are (and for who you are becoming). I won’t
let you fail.
How
do I know this will work for you? Over the past decade, I’ve built
a network of more than 15,000 people in Dallas alone, and that number
continues to grow locally and globally. I’m meeting and interacting
with hundreds of people every single week, and involved with dozens
of organizations, along with planning small- and large-scale charity
and nonprofit events in my free time. I’ve spoken to hundreds of
leading experts on mastering psychology and overcoming obstacles and
your past, creating influence and behavior change, developing social
and communication skills, meeting and networking with people,
building extraordinary relationships, creating your dream job,
building friendships, and much more. I’ve taught thousands of
people to successfully do everything I’m going teach you to help
you meet new people. In fact, many people have met hundreds of new
people in our very first month of working together, and some of those
have turned into best friends, business partners, marathon buddies,
relationships and marriages, and have led to extraordinary
opportunities in their lives. I’ve been in the trenches for more
than a decade learning why people do the things they do in their
personal and business lives, along with the motivations and the
psychology behind their choices. I’ve learned to help people master
their own psychology, along with crucial people and relationship
skills, to get what they want.
This
process will be simple, fun, and innovative, and although I‘ll
teach you shortcuts and ways to create success significantly faster,
you must buy into the entire process. Buy-in is necessary to learn
anything in life because you must listen, be engaged and believe the
information, and then act with certainty and focus to get the results
you want. You will have to push past the resistance that comes up as
well as the old programming—the way you have been doing things.
Sometimes you may have to go with the flow, enjoy the experience, and
try out the information. Remember, you can always go back to your old
beliefs and the life you had been living. Treat it like an experiment
and do something new. You have nothing to lose and everything to
gain.
I
know some people may be thinking, “Well, I’m not sure I can do
this!” Trust me, you can. It doesn’t matter if your current
social and communication skills are less than great or if you suffer
from social anxiety and fears that are holding you back. Your
educational or economic background, appearance, and intelligence
don’t matter—you can do this. If your life is in a rut, I will
show you quick and easy ways to meet new people and help you create
an authentic rapport with those around you very quickly, as you’ll
also learn how to develop new and existing amazing relationships. I
will also teach you how to create social capital—the key to your
long-term success—by leveraging network groups and creating your
personal brand. By adopting a few easy behavioral changes, you’re
going to be dramatically more effective in relationships and
collaborations in your personal and business lives than you ever
thought you could be.
To
get something you’ve never had before, you must do something you’ve
never done. Those
new experiences open our eyes and minds to what we can change, and
the limitless and extraordinary opportunities that lie ahead in life.
I’m
going to provide you with the playbook to create a life of social
freedom. And I’ll show you how to do it in the shortest amount of
time with the maximum impact. In the process, you’re going to have
a lot of fun, and by the end you’ll have more confidence than
you’ve ever had before.
One
last thing I want to mention is a frustrating part of learning to
master meeting people and building relationships. There are books and
information on business relationships and personal relationships, but
really nothing that tackles all
your interactions and relationships. Instead, once you learn the
information, it’s up to you to integrate it in different contexts.
That gets really complicated and it can be overwhelming. Well, a
significant amount of information can be applied to every
area of your life, and every person you interact with could
potentially be integrated in many different areas in your life. Of
course, there are specific strategies and tools for business
networking as opposed to dating and relationships. And I’ll be
sharing those distinctions, as well as the commonalities, as we move
forward together.
I
want to start by giving you a peek into what you will be learning and
the skills you will be developing. There are eight key components to
supercharging your relationships.
Supercharger
#1: Putting People First:
Imagine that every weekend, you’re invited to so many events, you
couldn’t attend them all even if you wanted to. Emails and phone
calls arrive offering high-paying jobs, introductions to new
professional networks, and terrific investment opportunities. You
have unlimited opportunities with the opposite sex and feel fully in
control of your dating life. If you are in a relationship or
marriage, both you and your partner feel fulfilled, happy, and like
you are on a successful road together. Most importantly, others
become more successful because of your help. People are inspired to
be around you because you put others first. You’ve built a highly
successful network of people in every area of your life. You can have
it all, and you don’t have to settle. Sure, you may have to make
some tradeoffs, but that’s much different than lowering your
standards for what you want your life to be. In order to do this, you
have prioritize meeting people and building relationships as number
one on your list. Without prioritizing this, you will encounter a lot
of challenges, heartache, disappointments, and failed interactions
and relationships.
Supercharger
#2: Seeing Every Opportunity:
Everywhere you go is a potential meeting place. I’ve met fantastic
people in line at Starbucks, at the grocery store, and waiting in
line at the dry cleaners. Some of my best friends now laugh about how
we met somewhere just like this. What became a great relationship
started with a simple, quick conversation. Every relationship starts
with an initial interaction. Think of it as five-minute conversations
that turn into lifelong relationships. The more people you meet, the
more opportunities you have to create abundance and learn life
skills, and you’ll also have a greater chance of meeting the right
people for yourself and others. I’ll show you the ultimate power of
networking in groups, building your social capital, and how to manage
it all.
Supercharger
#3: Realizing, Not Rationalizing:
Stop rationalizing why you are not meeting other people or building
the relationships you want. Stop using the excuses that you don’t
have time, you don’t know what to do, you can’t do that and/or
you’re just not good at it.
Those days are over for you! You are truly limitless now.
Supercharger
#4: Starting Simply, Simply Starting:
All it takes is a few words, “How’s everything?” or “How’s
your week going?” to meet new people. That’s it. Just take the
first step and start with a simple, short communication. It’s not
complex, but a lot of people overthink this, giving themselves an
excuse not to put themselves out there. Because your energy and vibe
is much more important than what you say! Delivery trumps content.
I’ll show you how to start any conversation and never run out of
things to say.
Supercharger
#5: Conquering Fear: We’re
constantly comparing our life to what we see on our friends’
Facebook newsfeeds. It’s easy to think that everyone else has a
great life, while you’re still struggling in yours. Well, realize
that most people don’t share their skeletons on Facebook. No one’s
life is perfect, and everyone struggles with fear of failure and fear
of rejection. You are not alone. Realize
that you have the power to move forward and create what you want.
Though you may never completely eliminate all your fears, they can be
managed and you can understand them much better. Lead with
authenticity, vulnerability, transparency, giving, and having fun.
Supercharger
#6: Empowering Yourself:
Your success is directly correlated to your psychology because your
thoughts turn into the actions you take and the results you generate.
Your mind is extremely powerful, and it will either propel you
forward or cripple you. You need clarity, focus, and compelling
motivations to move toward the life you want. It’s critical to
remove inner conflicts that may be holding you back as well. You also
need to create your life plan, and understand why you want what you
want in your life. Don’t live your life as a sailboat hoping to
drift to the right destination without a map or GPS; your chance of
getting where you want to go is very low.
Supercharger
#7: Loving Learning: Social
skills are learned behaviors, not something you are born with.
Anyone can learn to master being social, no matter what your
background is, what you look like, or where you went to school. It
just takes practice. If you commit daily to this process, you are
bound to have success. It is a lot like working out. You get very
sore initially as you break down the muscle, but you are building it
back much stronger. Well, when you first go out to meet people it is
a process and it takes time to improve, and it won’t go well all
the time. You are going to have rough days. But you will learn from
this, get back up, implement a new way of doing something, move
forward, and create breakthroughs. This is a very healthy process in
life, and you have to learn to laugh at yourself and embrace your
path.
Supercharger
#8: Emotions, Like Intellect, Must be Mastered:
You are going to have to master your emotions on your life journey if
you want to be successful. One question that comes up a lot from
clients is, “How do I stop being jealous? Or angry? Or nervous? Or
envious?” Well, you first you change your psychology and how you
interpret and process information in your brain. That will help you
see the world differently and eliminate the thought from occurring.
But some negative emotions will seep through no matter what you do.
You can’t control every emotion you feel, BUT you can control how
you behave and act (or react to it). For example: “I am angry,”
is a lot different than “I feel angry.” You may feel anger when
something happens, but you don’t need to act or dwell on it.
Language is very powerful, so notice how you use it and how subtle
changes can make huge differences.
The
next question that comes up from clients is, “How do you deal with
worry, failure, rejection, and loss?” I acknowledge and accept the
emotion, and act positively, moving forward in my life instead of
getting bogged down in the negativity. I’ve created a habit around
doing it. For example, some days I don’t want to exercise in the
morning and I’d rather sleep. I feel the emotion that I am sleepy
and this sucks that I have to drag myself out of bed. I accept those
emotions and feelings, take responsibility for them, and then go
straight to my workout class. I don’t let the thoughts control me
or stop me from doing what I need to do for myself. If you try to
stop the negative thought, you will focus on it. And what you focus
on grows stronger over time and will suck you in like a black hole.
So
here’s what you do: Feel the emotion, acknowledge it, take
responsibility for it, and act in spite of it. Not “I am not angry
at my boss,” but “I am feeling anger toward my boss.” You have
control over it. You can accept and move past it to do your job and
work effectively with your boss and colleagues. Alternatively, you
can use gratitude to help here. You can say, “I am grateful for
feeling nervous when I make this new sales presentation to a client.”
You accept the emotion and diffuse it with gratitude so you can move
past it quickly to take the action of presenting to the new client.
That’s a process that will help you move past mental blocks if your
negative thoughts consistently control you. This will also help move
past procrastination or lack of motivation as well.
In
this book, you’re going to learn how to:
- Master your mindset and emotions to create the confidence, certainty, and positivity to meet people and build deeper, more trusting relationships.
- Create your life plan to foster clarity, focus, and certainty about where you are headed, along with how to brand yourself.
- Use giving to set yourself apart and fuel relationship building.
- Open up and let others in by being vulnerable, transparent, authentic, and honest.
- Identify good places to meet people, what to do, what to say, and how to follow up to create a life where people love to be around you.
- Overcome career- and business-crippling habits and inner conflicts.
- Manage, filter, and prioritize your relationship networks in your personal and business life and build closer relationships than you ever thought possible.
- Create a “people plan” to meet the individuals you need to advance your career or business and develop mutual success.
- Build social capital to create a powerful personal brand to develop a magnetic reputation, wield significant influence, and achieve massive success.
- Leverage the secrets of networking and group dynamics to unleash social influence and power, while helping and inspiring others.
- Recruit and engage others to cheer you on and help you reach your dreams, while eliminating the “score card” or transaction mentality in your relationships.
- Cultivate successful relationships with VIPs and influencers.
- Achieve unlimited success by leveraging the power of your network to find opportunities, share information, and tap into massive resources.
- Leverage your social media presence to expand your online presence, increase your reputation, and manage your relationships.
- Make the most of personal assets such as style.
Ready?
Let’s get started!
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