Friday, December 5, 2014

The Only Person I Can Change is Myself By Carrie Louise, author

Photo by Scuglik
I am faced with a relationship that needs tweaking. I have started the mending process. This post is my solution.
For those who have ever, or might currently be, irritated within a relationship, I can promise that the following is a part of the solution. 

The reader may or may not be familiar with the concept of mirroring. In addition to my daily word choices from Life, Soul Being Soul, it is my number one tool to learn who I am, thus greatly improving my internal and external relationships.

I learn about myself when I identify and appreciate someone who is caring and helpful. He or she is a mirror of the caring and helpful person I know myself to be.

Likewise, when I am extremely irritated by someone else's behavior, it is time for me to watch, listen, and then accept this irritating trait about myself (not easy)!

The degree of my irritation and frustration about another's behavior is the exact degree that I need to self-evaluate and change. This takes time!  I am usually able to complete this process on my own. When stuck, I ask for assistance from a person who knows how to help me find my answers.

I have learned that, without exception, other peoples' irritating behaviors will mirror me until the time when I have finally let go of ALL my need to behave/think in the same way. Once I adjust my thinking and behavior, this characteristic in others will no longer be a trigger for my negative emotional responses.

I know that these discoveries about who I am when using the 'mirror' theory are important. The resulting self-adjustments I make translate into my being happier. Also, I am no longer angry with, frustrated by, or blaming a person who has, without their knowledge, been my mirror and teacher. Instead, I can be grateful for having them in my life so that I might be a happier person.

Life takes work. We get involved in the details of surviving as well as wanting to feel important, to love and be loved, and to experience variety. * The importance and care of our MIND and SOUL might be forgotten and pushed aside. My participation and the work involved within a mirroring relationship keep me responsible for my happiness rather than blaming others for my unhappiness. 
*What Matters Most: The Power of Living Your Values by Hyrum W. Smith 
Life, Soul Being Soul Life,   Soul Being Soul without Drama
Teen Life, Soul Being Soul

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