Monday, December 13, 2021

Read an Excerpt from Suckers Go To Hell Book by Jessica McBrayer



Award winning and Amazon Top 100 Series.

What do you wear to a Holiday dinner party in Hell with your in-laws? When the Vampire Hannah falls in love with Diel, a hot Demon, things warm up in more ways than one. Her Life-mate’s parents, insist on meeting Hannah, so it’s off to Hell they’re bound. First Lily, Hannah’s BFF and a fashionista, takes the Goth girl in hand. Who knew she had legs? Everyone is stunned and ambiguous about the new look, a designer babe Ganja Girl. Of course you can’t go to Hell for the Holidays without your Hell Hound and you probably need to bring a devastatingly handsome Djinn friend, to get your back, just in case the in-laws aren’t as friendly as they claim to be. Hannah’s new duds aren’t the only surprises in store in this humorous paranormal Christmas tale. 



Chapter 1 Hannah

What do you wear to a Christmas party in Hell? My soul mate, lover, my ever after, Diel – well his parents hadn’t mainstreamed yet and still lived down under full time. The visit presented a point of contention between us. I so didn’t want to go down there. I wouldn’t have been able to go at all if it hadn’t been for our Hell Hound Hades. Only Hell Hounds are able to provide safe passage to non-demons back, and forth.

I am an anomaly. Technically, I am dead already, but my heart still beats, just slowly. I am a vampire you see and my lover is a demon. My name is Hannah and I am not your ordinary Vamp. Diel’s aristocratic family doesn’t care that I’m a vampire. In fact I’ve got the impression that they don’t care for me at all, although Diel hasn’t mentioned it.

I was on my way to pick up my best friend Lily who lives in the Pacific Heights district of San Francisco. My vintage Beetle hummed along the Bay Bridge. Hades had stuck his head out of the passenger window letting the drool fly. I felt sorry for whoever was behind us. They for sure had their wipers on. We were going to go shopping for my trip to Hell. I think that would normally freak a girl out but I had imbibed on the ganja juice that flowed out of a young college student, midnight snack if you will, last night. I was still pretty mellow.

When I rolled to a stop outside a mansion, which had become a giant fortress since a warlock had attacked it and Lily and Liam had become were-vamps, Hades almost broke my window jumping from the car. Luckily, Aidan, his godfather and a djinn, popped out to intercept him.

“Hannah, what have you been feeding my godson? He looks like he’s grown,” Aidan said as he played tug-of-war with a tug he pulled from nowhere.

Aidan’s British accent is as perfect as his body. Hey I can appreciate. At one time I found him pursuable.  But then he had to go and fall in loooove with my bestie, Lily.

“Let’s bring Hades inside, Ganja Girl.” That was my self-imposed super-hero name. “Lilith is craving a little puppy time before you girls go shopping.”

“Where are you and Hades going to hang out?” I asked him.

“I thought I’d take him to the beach and then back to your house. Is that okay?”

“Which beach?” I had to ask because it could be here in California or in Africa.

“A thought he might like some big game to chase down…”

“Uh huh, Aidan. This continent today. In fact, this state,” I said with my hands on my hips. I wasn’t very imposing at my height of five feet one inch but I could pull attitude when needed.

Aidan held his hands up in a placating way.

“Hannah, I promise that I will take him no farther than to Ocean Beach. He can chase seagulls.”

“Sounds good,” I said.

“Sounds boring,” I heard him mumble. I flashed him a little fang and hissed and he smiled sheepishly at me.


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